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Tales Of Woah

by Farewell Horizontal

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1.
It's the Tour De France every day of the week For the Lycra fuckwit squad Holding up the traffic as they ride in tandem An imagined crowd applauds Brighton's full of arseholes Brighton's one big headache Brighton's full of arseholes Beside the sea Park the Toorak tractor at St. Dickhead's Grammar In the middle of the road Overprice the sandwich, due for a kidnapping Trustafarian B.O. Brighton's full of arseholes Brighton's one big headache Brighton's full of arseholes Beside the sea And they're all that I can see And they won't accept the likes of me Brighton's full of arseholes Brighton's one big headache Brighton's full of arseholes Beside the sea And they're all that I can see
2.
I'm so unsteady when I stand I'm wilting like an indoor plant I might die Bin full of tissues, nostrils raw Won't make it through the bathroom door I might die It's the summer of disease Sun's burning, I still freeze I cough, I sneeze It's the summer of disease There's germs in every breeze I cough, I wheeze Outside has never looked so fine My temperature's still 39 All the time My bony fingers fight the light That floods the water in my eyes Don't touch those blinds It's the summer of disease Sun's burning, I still freeze I cough, I sneeze It's the summer of disease There's germs in every breeze I cough, I wheeze I sneeze, ah choo, bless you Summer of disease Ah choo, bless you Summer of disease It's the summer of disease Sun's burning, I still freeze I cough, I sneeze It's the summer of disease There's germs in every breeze I cough, I wheeze
3.
Nosy Parker 02:53
4.
Been thinking over everything for such a long long time I dedicate myself to find some meaning in this life I've searched and I've researched, I've interviewed people I've been everywhere on earth I speak every language, I've had seven marriages I'm getting so close now Empty expanses, a monochrome plateau Crossed all the fences to where we shouldn't go I've seen the pattern in everyone I know I've found the answer, and the answer is no Now I hold my torch and limp along an endless trail Following the drops of rain that lead me to the grail The clouds start to come in, I wanna start running I don't wanna wake up here Sucked into a black hole wherever the wind blows me I'm getting so close now Empty expanses, a monochrome plateau Crossed all the fences to where we shouldn't go I've seen the pattern in everyone I know I've found the answer, and the answer is no The answer is no The answer is no The answer is nooooooooo So seeing you're here, I suggest you lean nearer Cause I've got something to show I'll tell you a secret, don't ever repeat it Cause nobody wants to know Empty expanses, a monochrome plateau Crossed all the fences to where we shouldn't go I've seen the pattern in everyone I know I've found the answer, and the answer is no
5.
Uh-Oh (No) 03:08
Does the dog in fact own the man Does the head in truth pat the hand Does your service meet my demand I wonder when I turned into Ayn Rand Am I gaining more than I lose Can I even tell who's gain's whose So expensive, yet feel so cheap Do a better job of being skin deep Uh-oh Uh-Uh-oh Uh-Uh-oh No What if I'm a massive sellout What if all of my teeth fell out The prices that I have to shell out Just to keep my arm candy spellbound What about your indie values Fuck em, may they not corral you Is it good for my self-esteem To eat her refuse and call it ice cream Uh-oh Uh-Uh-oh Uh-Uh-oh No Stepping over my dead body Dry-eyed with a stick you'll prod me Assessed assets, caressed casket Cassette-taped carcass, questions to ask it Uh-oh Uh-Uh-oh Uh-Uh-oh No
6.
I went on a game show and I won a million bucks She didn't come with me on our cruise, oh just my luck I stole a lifeboat, drifted for weeks I washed up on a beach of nudists And the mob was after me I'm going bald, I need a soulmate I'm not what I was, and I was never that great I don't wanna be too late I'm like canned fish reduced to clear No charisma, just drear I'm on a quest to find true love I dressed up as a chick to escape, I hid my suit I threw away the bomb and I left by parachute Crawled under bees and fed the snakes wood Swung over piranhas And met my topless babe in a lagoon I'm going bald, I need a soulmate I'm not what I was, and I was never that great I don't wanna be too late I'm like canned fish reduced to clear No charisma, just drear I'm on a quest to find true love The locals told me what to do I climbed the ice volcano And gave the bad guy death by piano I'm going bald, I need a soulmate I'm not what I was, and I was never that great I don't wanna be too late I'm like canned fish reduced to clear No charisma, just drear I'm on a quest to find true love (Don't give up, no, don't give up just yet) I'm going bald, I need a soulmate I'm not what I was, and I was never that great I don't wanna be too late I'm like canned fish reduced to clear No charisma, just drear I'm on a quest to find true love
7.
Now all these rules have given you a beating It is time you were schooled in the miracle of cheating Because everybody knows the system works If you rort it, if you rort it And you'll get all the fringe benefits and perks Exploit it, exploit it Don't stand in line unless there's a conveyor belt Stuffing down the last slice, we're helping those who help themselves Because everybody knows the system works If you rort it, if you rort it And you'll get all the fringe benefits and perks Exploit it, exploit it Kill your little qualms Everyone does it Grease those itchy palms And that tick that box And stuff those pockets now You don't know what it's like Everybody knows the system works If you rort it, if you rort it And you'll get all the fringe benefits and perks Exploit it, exploit it Everybody knows the system works If you rort it, if you rort it And you'll get all the fringe benefits and perks Exploit it, exploit it The system works
8.
I don't understand anything anymore I don't understand anything anymore Don't look at me, I won't look at you Let's look at our shoes, I tell you I don't understand anymore I don't understand anymore I don't understand anything anymore You said I don't know you at all, what you're like You said I should go overseas for a while Get some perspective on your own Far away from home, I tell you I don't understand anymore I don't understand anymore I don't understand anything anymore And you can write me out forever (Just do what you want) Won't have to be my friend at all I don't understand anything anymore I don't understand anything anymore I don't understand anymore I don't understand anymore I don't understand anything anymore And you can write me out forever (Just do what you want) Won't have to be my friend at all I don't understand anymore I don't understand anymore I don't understand anything anymore I don't understand anything anymore I don't understand anything anymore
9.
I breathe in and make that followup call I try to talk while wearing a smile They weren't expecting me at all But they assured me we're on the pile What I'm selling I couldn't pay someone to take Make a note to self, try and be less shit, okay Never give up unless you're shit Never give up unless you're shit Never give up unless you're shit Never give up unless you're shit Some kids at RMIT have a TV show Maybe we could play, you never know Make a note to self, try and be less shit, okay Never give up unless you're shit Never give up unless you're shit Never give up unless you're shit Never give up unless you're shit
10.
Well I guess I showed them Who would have guessed how well I've done Reunion, here I come Proving nothing to prove But now the shit has hit the fan Here comes the repo man With just a shitty tracksuit for my crown Her suitcase wheels are following her lipstick's frown No place to go but down No place to go but down At least I always bounce Woke up in a sandtrap Got 14 days to find a room Was bound to happen soon Membership suspended They outed me on live TV Been mass unfriended And even though they say that soon I'll be on trial Well jail's a happy place with the right frame of mind I YouTube "tie a noose" it shows me how Downstairs the garden hedge is looking brown No place to go but down No place to go but down At least I always bounce

about

Official website = www.farewellhorizontal.com. Step into our crudely-designed realm and help remove the social media middleman.
\m/ DIY \m/

Our fourth album.

Our 85% of each sale goes to independent eco and/or human doers of good.

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released November 25, 2022

Loz - drums, some vox / Pat - the rest

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Farewell Horizontal Melbourne, Australia

Pat n' Loz

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